moths

i have to turn out the light and stop reading because i'm confusing this moth and it's throwing itself repeatedly against my window and could expire.

but look at what happened when i wanted to find out why:

what does that first one even mean?

here is why does:

man.

why does a:

i like number two. and finally,

here is the answer

my whole life

"we were walking in a capsule between amnesias"

greg keeler has this great website where you can read letters and quotes.

house

"they came to a crashing halt like blue airplanes."

these are the shadows i have now

i guess they might come from this

here is a place to hang things

 and a garden

and more from rb:

"she stared up at me all the time, her eyes never leaving me as if i were an airfield."

"what i was doing was like an occupation for me. i was that involved in looking at the sky and eating the apple."

"california needs us, so it gathers us from other places."

"i went over to her house. she didn't have a door bell. that was a small victory. one must keep track of all the small victories. i do, anyway."

"then she carved her pumpkin while dinner was cooking beautifully away."

ladies

i woke up today thinking about the women in rb's life. and of the beautiful girls on his covers. he loved women. or loved himself being in love with them. but he was bad at love.

comps

i'm doing it. i thought i might not but it seems i am. i started with richard brautigan because i thought it would be a nice way into everything. this is what he looks like now

he says, "he had appeared as a specter and disappeared as a specter. there was nothing of us in his coming and going. he was just another specter, chained to a log, fleeing alligators at big sur."

here is what will follow rb

before i started reading for comps, i took the weekend to read non-comps items, such as:

with deer

and boris by the sea (again)

and black life

and i tried to get through forever valley but i ran out of time

and the pacific review which has turned itself into ghost town

and the new thermos

and i went for a walk

pictures

i went to this baseball game in may. it was so beautiful there.

i spent forty minutes trying to photograph lightning. it didn't work.

i tried this sweet popcorn.

and now i'm going to show you more pictures from mt. sanitas, which i just typed as st. sanitas

that's actually it, over there. we went to the wrong place at first.

this should be dani's match.com photo

the day ended with a sleepy red puppy