j and i are in portland for the month. we had to drive through a fire to get here. we went to the ocean.

in these two weeks i have made tomato conditioner go in a sink (then did a taste test with it), saw a spinning pig, viewed good music and how packaging peanuts hang in a glass factory, saw a head on sticks, watched beasts of the southern wild (which is now coming and says everybody loses the thing that made them--you have to go see it), played and cheated at pool, saw my family, made a new plan for t.f. (team fingerbang), graduated, cried at seth landman, who is leaving denver (the worst idea yet--view portraits below), made a mix cd with this song, and packed up my apartment.

jesse, karla and i went to see van halen with dlr (who told a story about his animals and kept getting mad because someone wasn't mopping the floor enough. he had to have a special dance floor). kool & the gang opened. it was pretty amazing.

then j and i stayed in a cabin by these animals for his bday. we had cake and ate beets and kale and went in a hot tub that overlooked a beautiful colorado valley and watched the movie hugo and slept a lot and looked at the sky and went on a hike and learned our fortunes from dimes and i became sick and coughed all night one night so we slept very little. i am sick still and haven't left bed in a very long time. in bed, i have been reading the letters of clare of assisi and learning what it was like to a franciscan holy woman.

when we were at lunch today these two people came in and had a conversation. some of it went like this:

--what made you sit outside that place?

--you, maybe, i've been praying to meet someone.

--when i came to denver i started doing heroin and coke. 

--what's heroin like? i've never done it.

--you take your soul out and watch it for a minute and you put it back in.

--you can't take your soul out.

--really, you're an alcoholic?

--unfortunately.

--i am too to be honest with you.

--you've got to get over that whole dead thing.

--i've overdosed six times in my life.

--when later comes i'm sick from what i've done to my body.

--13 years old-he drank a bottle of whiskey and took 13 percocets and died two days ago. when she tried to wake him up he was dead. the whole town thinks that she killed him. i got this news yesterday. 

for my bday, we went bowling and then played jenga and skee ball and video games at the arcade bar.