animals

this seems important.

as does this.

and then

pont and i went through america a little.

i put pictures here.

i think i must have spent days alone. what i can remember is looking at the ocean, reading beckett and listening to smog.

and if i do not go there gladly, i go perhaps more gladly there than anywhere else, astonished and at peace, i nearly said as in a dream, but no, no. but it is not the kind of place where you go, but where you find yourself, sometimes, not knowing how, and which you cannot leave at will, and where you find yourself without any pleasure, but with more perhaps than in those places you can escape from, by making an effort, places full of mystery, full of the familiar mysteries i listen and the voice is of a world collapsing endlessly, a frozen world, under a faint untroubled sky, enough to see by, yes, and frozen too.

from molloy

the unfortunates

i like the people in the background of this video

and here is the near end of the unfortunates (a very beautiful novel in pieces):

it was obvious to me that even if he was still there the following week, he would be less able to talk, at the rate he was deteriorating, disintegrating, so the last thing i said to him, all i had to give him, alone with him, with my coat on, about to go, the car waiting outside to run us to the station, staring down at him, facing those eyes, he staring back all the time now, it must have been a great effort for him, yes, and i said, it was all i had, what else could i do, i said, i'll get it all down, mate.                     it'll be very little, he said, after a while, slowly, still those eyes.                            that's all anyone has done, very little, i said.

wolf

"your wolf will have become another wolf, your sister a different sister . . ."

this is from invisible cities, which is a book by italo calvino that i'm madly in love with.

the other thing i'm in love with is this book by julia cohen and mathias svalina that can be ordered for only $6.5! it starts by saying:

i'm a bloody gretel & i rhyme with an apple.

we went to leadville one day.

summer

i just now this very minute finished rb's last book--the last published book, an unfortunate woman:

that's how it ends, basically with "but i did try."

it's time to move on to the other things now. i don't want to. i already miss the daylights out of him.

over the weekend, there was a poetry reading here and i got to read poems with one of my favorite poets, zs

on saturday i got to hear all of the beautiful icelandic tales by these most incredible storytellers, frank and jess. i wish i could have recorded them for you.

yesterday i went on this bike ride

  most of the people who ride in colorado wear these kinds of outfits

and then guess who came over!

yes! shena made radishes with butter and salt. it was so delicious.

ts and i spent some time making this magic tree and then we went dancing with dani on the roof of this building

when we got back the tree looked like so

i miss the ocean so much today

sea pie

one of my favorite things that rb says is:

"everything is here except that which is missing."

yesterday i went on a boring bike ride and my seat fell all the way down so i had to come back home and fix it.

here is the long trail (on the way to the cherry creek reservoir)

here is this.

at night, i went to andrea's and we made dioramas and drank fresh mint drinks

did you know of something called sea pie?

that's a magnifying glass that we used to look at all of our things. and at each other.

moths

i have to turn out the light and stop reading because i'm confusing this moth and it's throwing itself repeatedly against my window and could expire.

but look at what happened when i wanted to find out why:

what does that first one even mean?

here is why does:

man.

why does a:

i like number two. and finally,

here is the answer

my whole life

"we were walking in a capsule between amnesias"

greg keeler has this great website where you can read letters and quotes.

house

"they came to a crashing halt like blue airplanes."

these are the shadows i have now

i guess they might come from this

here is a place to hang things

 and a garden

and more from rb:

"she stared up at me all the time, her eyes never leaving me as if i were an airfield."

"what i was doing was like an occupation for me. i was that involved in looking at the sky and eating the apple."

"california needs us, so it gathers us from other places."

"i went over to her house. she didn't have a door bell. that was a small victory. one must keep track of all the small victories. i do, anyway."

"then she carved her pumpkin while dinner was cooking beautifully away."