from the transformation

"but soon it was clear that she was simply gray now, just that, the way years ago we had to admit that she was simply a tree now, and no longer a girl. but a tree is one thing and a stone is another. there are limits to what you can accept, even of impossible things."

lydia davis

i've been thinking so much lately about being a tree. here is something i was thinking about it from a week ago:

i am only being a tree as an example.
when i become one, you'll know because
my speech will be in leaves and you won't
recognize me. you'll stand next to me calling my name
and looking out into the distance. it will be
so hard then. as a tree, i'll try my best at being
a person. i have a feeling it won't work.
nothing will work. i'll be sent to a tree farm
along with all of the other things that seem like me.

how to of the day:

how to start a jellyfish tank:

Jellyfish tanks must be plain. If you enjoy "aquascaping" then jellyfish are not for you. Decorations threaten the integrity of the jellyfish, literally

an unfortunate woman

some of the best things from richard brautigan's an unfortunate woman:

(there are other great things, but they're long, so these will have to do):

i can't find the exact quote, but something like, i would find cars more interesting if they came with their own parking space.

"also, i am always the last person to know what's going on in my life, but i have a feeling that's maybe the way it is with everybody and belief in self-understanding is only a delusion."

"i don't think it would be a very good idea to fall helplessly into silence and just stand there staring at a photograph of somebody and a chicken taken together in hawaii, waiting to be put out of my misery."

this is a story about a reality star and a swimsuit model

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENA7Po58uGQ&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fnews%3Fq%3Dryan%2Bjenkins%26sourceid%3Dnavclient-ff%26ie%3DUTF-8%26rlz%3D1B3GGGL_enUS309US309&feature=player_embedded

here are some things. i never know about the order. one is a bridge with some ashbery on it. it's in minneapolis. you can walk across the bridge and read ashbery and see the sky and everything goes together so well. the other thing from minneapolis that i've included are some books on the shelf at ikea, but i don't think they're for sale. and then my bathroom ceiling fell onto the floor. and then i gave my rocks a bath. and then i went to the circus.

rb, again

here is something he wrote when he was 17:

i am
not particular.

i like whatever
the sky happens
to be doing at the time.

performance of rodrigo toscano's cpt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW9txrq0JCg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.poetryfoundation.org%2Fjournal%2Farticle.html%3Fid%3D237392&feature=player_embedded#t=51

oh

and one picture of the ocean that rb got to see right before he died

rb: one story and one poem

since i've been back, i've been finding out some very nice things about richard brautigan. one thing i found out was that he did something funny:

after a reading, several people came up and asked him to sign books for a man called beef, who was a big fan but couldn't be there because he was at work. he signs the books and a few months later he gets a letter from beef with beef's appreciation and telephone number. richard calls him--"turns out, literary folks in lincoln are having a party at beef's apartment. beef thinks it is a practical joke but is finally convinced that richard's voice is the original article, and asks r. to talk to others at the party which he does for an hour on his own dime, portraying beef as an old friend, genius,a nd all around great guy."

and then i remembered this poem of rb's i made into a terrible painting when i was very young:

insane asylum
part 8

baudelaire went
to the insane asylum
disguised as a
psychiatrist.
he stayed there
for two months
and when he left,
the insane asylum
loved him so much
that it followed
him all over
california,
and baudelaire
laughed when the
insane asylum
rubbed itself
up against his
leg like a
strange cat.

miles and miles

so we've been in a car, mostly, for sixteen days. we'll be home soon. not sure how that will feel. something happens when you get used to driving around constantly. i'm scared to be still. here are 5 of the 1600 photos i've taken.